Picking a family...

Wow!  It has been some time since I have written on karma kookies.  The reasons are not clear as to why I haven’t written, it has just been challenging to find good things to write about.  I refuse to cloud anyone else’s life with my further struggles, thus I have not written in some time. 

I have to say I have changed an old quote and standard of what is believed: You can’t pick your family, but you can pick your friends.  Well, I have decided I am picking my family as well. 

I have adopted a woman who has been in my life for almost 20 years.  When we first met she thought I would not be able to pronounce her name correctly so she gave me a nick-name then and there.  I am now the only person who calls her by this name. 

Over time this woman has been there when I have needed her, even in emergencies.  She has listened or read about all my dates and men problems, which for her required a ‘score card’ to keep up with all my discussions. 

Now in this time when I feel I am at my worst: unemployed; waiting for a disability appeal decision; living with my Mom; and basically not at my best at all.  This woman is there for me.  In fact, she was a little surprised of my situation when I told her, and she wanted to help as much as she could. She now takes me out at least once a month to do my grocery shopping and then we have a bite to eat.  We also talk quite a bit by texting, which has been a life line for me some days.  Just to know someone out there cares about me. 

This woman is extremely busy, so anyone who says they are too busy for a friend is just not making the time and this woman is a pure example of that theory.  She has two children who are very active in school and extracurricular activities.  She also is starting her own mediation business; has some private issues which are very stressful and life changing to her family; and now she has had to move her family, including parents from L.A., to a new house.  She is also married and has family activities which she attends for her husband’s work.  She is very busy, but finds time for me, whether it is a text (which I just received from her while writing this) or by taking me out to get groceries and/or to just hang like we used and talk.

I have also adopted a brother, more like a big brother, so I call him my big bro’.  He has been in my life for years, not even sure how long.  At first we didn’t really talk to one another, he was a different man, but after his divorce, he became more humble and was around more in Las Vegas.  I have helped him with some legal work, but he has also served me as a sounding board and a buoy when I felt too challenged to continue in my struggles.  He doesn’t live around Las Vegas anymore, and I have seen him in about 2 years, maybe longer.  He too is very busy running a ranch for his father, doing auctions various nights of the week, and with his family of three girls and his wife. 

I have an elderly man, about the same age as my Mom, who has adopted me as his daughter.  After we talked quite a bit through FaceBook and then in private emails, he said I was the daughter he had always wanted.  At one time he was trying to figure out a way I could come and live with him, his wife, and his son, but there was no feasible way to do this, especially with my animals in tow.  When I was attending school, and he had the means, he helped me with attending one of the colloquiums and with getting a new computer when I blew my laptop.  He has always been there for me to discuss things with and give me his take on the situation.  His illnesses keep him from getting out too much, plus he is located kind of on the outskirts of a town from what I gather.  I have never met him, but am proud to call him my pop.  He tells me of his life, and not just the good parts, but the times he was challenged and made the wrong decisions, and how his decisions have caused him great pain in latter life.  I don’t ask anything from him, and he doesn’t ask anything from me, we are just happy in our family relationship. 

Thus, in my world, I can pick my friends and my family.  I have surrounded myself with people I know care about me and want what is best for me.  They do not push what they think is best for me, but rather listen to me and respect where I am at and what I am saying. They are worth more karma kookies than the average good deed.