Stupid

I just have to share today a poem which I read last night.  I did NOT write it, in fact, it was written by Debora Geary.  She writes romance novels and novels about a fictional community of witches.  It is the community of witches which I follow.  The book from which the following poem is offered in Witches Under Way, from her WitchLight Trilogy (Copyright 2012 Debora Geary, Fireweed Publishing, Kindle Edition).

The main reason I feel the need to place it here in Karma Kookies, is because many people may not read the same books I do, thus missing this little treasure.  The personal reason I am placing on my Karma Kookies is because, like everyone in the fictional audience who heard this poem recited live, I too held my breath when it was done, progressing through my life and the way I thought. 

So, even if you are not a poetry reader, give this one a shot.  It is easy, not deep and dreary, not hard to understand, and it will perhaps offer you a bit of insight as it has me.

Stupid (by Lizard Monroe aka Debora Geary)

            Sometimes it doesn’t even start out as a word,

just slime that eases in

and grows roots and has no name,

covering the parts of your insides

that know how to breathe.

            And then one day it turns real,

an agent of mean

aiming to bruise your soul or someone else’s.

            It doesn’t matter.

            Stupid sticks to everything,

even if it wasn’t thrown at you.

            You do battle with stupid.

            You tell people they’re wrong

and you try to be smart

and one day you even try to put stupid in a bag with some rocks

and one of those crazy fisherman knots that never come undone

and hope it drowns.

            But stupid floats back up

and it’s cute kittens

and Santa Clause

and grandmothers who live forever that end up in the bag instead.

            Stupid is a survivor.

            Eventually, you stop fighting

and grant squatting rights in your soul.

            If you’re lucky, one day, for reasons unknown,

good people start shoveling other words into your head

and stupid gets quieter for a while,

maybe even takes a long vacation to a nice island with no Internet.

            But it always comes back.

            I’ve learned that you can’t fight stupid,

or drown it

or bury it

or send it on a long trip without a map.

            You can’t unlearn it

or unteach it

or eviscerate it from the memory of the world.

            But you can remember this.

            Stupid isn’t a name.  It’s just a word. 

I do hope that at least one person who reads this, besides me of course, finds something personal in this poem for them. 

If you liked this poem, or want to see what kind of books bring light into my life, check out www.deborageary.com.  Yes, the books are about witches, but not the Shakespearian kind, and what I glean more from the books is the community of people, not just the witches.  I believe the communities she describes in Ms. Geary describes in her books are very possible, and they are all not peaches and cream, but real everyday life.  Ms. Geary’s books may be found on Amazon.com as well, and they are in Kindle format for a very reasonable price for such joy.

A Bumble Bee’s karma kookie

The other day while swimming, I was watching the little bit of flotsam on the pool water.  There was a small bumble bee which was kicking for dear life. 

I gently touched the little bee with my finger coming from underneath him, and he immediately took to flight.

He buzzed around my head and my swimming gear for a couple of seconds, then he was off again.

As I lay on the lounger at the pool a few minutes later, I believe, the same bee landed on my knee. 

He turned to look at me, and I felt he was saying ‘thank you’ for helping him from drowning on a fine summer day.

Picking a family...

Wow!  It has been some time since I have written on karma kookies.  The reasons are not clear as to why I haven’t written, it has just been challenging to find good things to write about.  I refuse to cloud anyone else’s life with my further struggles, thus I have not written in some time. 

I have to say I have changed an old quote and standard of what is believed: You can’t pick your family, but you can pick your friends.  Well, I have decided I am picking my family as well. 

I have adopted a woman who has been in my life for almost 20 years.  When we first met she thought I would not be able to pronounce her name correctly so she gave me a nick-name then and there.  I am now the only person who calls her by this name. 

Over time this woman has been there when I have needed her, even in emergencies.  She has listened or read about all my dates and men problems, which for her required a ‘score card’ to keep up with all my discussions. 

Now in this time when I feel I am at my worst: unemployed; waiting for a disability appeal decision; living with my Mom; and basically not at my best at all.  This woman is there for me.  In fact, she was a little surprised of my situation when I told her, and she wanted to help as much as she could. She now takes me out at least once a month to do my grocery shopping and then we have a bite to eat.  We also talk quite a bit by texting, which has been a life line for me some days.  Just to know someone out there cares about me. 

This woman is extremely busy, so anyone who says they are too busy for a friend is just not making the time and this woman is a pure example of that theory.  She has two children who are very active in school and extracurricular activities.  She also is starting her own mediation business; has some private issues which are very stressful and life changing to her family; and now she has had to move her family, including parents from L.A., to a new house.  She is also married and has family activities which she attends for her husband’s work.  She is very busy, but finds time for me, whether it is a text (which I just received from her while writing this) or by taking me out to get groceries and/or to just hang like we used and talk.

I have also adopted a brother, more like a big brother, so I call him my big bro’.  He has been in my life for years, not even sure how long.  At first we didn’t really talk to one another, he was a different man, but after his divorce, he became more humble and was around more in Las Vegas.  I have helped him with some legal work, but he has also served me as a sounding board and a buoy when I felt too challenged to continue in my struggles.  He doesn’t live around Las Vegas anymore, and I have seen him in about 2 years, maybe longer.  He too is very busy running a ranch for his father, doing auctions various nights of the week, and with his family of three girls and his wife. 

I have an elderly man, about the same age as my Mom, who has adopted me as his daughter.  After we talked quite a bit through FaceBook and then in private emails, he said I was the daughter he had always wanted.  At one time he was trying to figure out a way I could come and live with him, his wife, and his son, but there was no feasible way to do this, especially with my animals in tow.  When I was attending school, and he had the means, he helped me with attending one of the colloquiums and with getting a new computer when I blew my laptop.  He has always been there for me to discuss things with and give me his take on the situation.  His illnesses keep him from getting out too much, plus he is located kind of on the outskirts of a town from what I gather.  I have never met him, but am proud to call him my pop.  He tells me of his life, and not just the good parts, but the times he was challenged and made the wrong decisions, and how his decisions have caused him great pain in latter life.  I don’t ask anything from him, and he doesn’t ask anything from me, we are just happy in our family relationship. 

Thus, in my world, I can pick my friends and my family.  I have surrounded myself with people I know care about me and want what is best for me.  They do not push what they think is best for me, but rather listen to me and respect where I am at and what I am saying. They are worth more karma kookies than the average good deed.

My Guys Are Home!!!

Hurray!

I just found out the two men I have been worried about who are enlisted and overseas are on U.S. soil. 

One man was reddening himself for retirement from the Army when he was suddenly called to Afghanistan.  He left his wife and children, and had to take a break on his doctoral work.  I received an email from him the other day, responding to some jokes I sent him, and he reported he was moving his family to another station just a few miles from his home.

Now he can get back to his family and perhaps finish his doctorate as well.  He wanted to have a Ph.D. by the time he retired from the service so he could teach.  He is an awesome father and a great person.  Glad he is back!

The other fellow is a guy I dated a couple of times till we figured out we were better friends.  I moved off to do my thing, and then found out he was shipped off to Iraq.  What made it really precarious was he had just found out the woman who he had kind of liked at one place he was working had liked him as well, they just never told each other at the time.  When they met up again, they told each other of their past attraction to each other, it was done before it was started: wedding bells were almost ringing.  They made sure they got married before he was shipped out.  So, I was really hopping he would come back, safe and sound, to his new wife. 

By the time my travels brought me back to Las Vegas, I had no idea how to find out when and if my friend made it home.  I happened to have an issue come up just recently which I thought he might be interested in.  I checked on LinkedIn just out of curiosity, and to my surprise my friend’s profile showed him not only back on U.S. soil but clear across the country.  So, I am sure he has started his new life with his new wife and I hope he stays here and is able to do all the things he dreamt of before he left.  He is a very talented man with many dreams.

So, what a day for karma kookies~two in one day!

karma kookies is...

A karma kookie is having people who love you and will give you the shirt off their back.  Many who you have never met, but call you friend or family.