Yesterday was my birthday, and yes, I will tell you I turned 48. Ahhh! Yeah, it scares me too.
I am in the final two weeks of my two Ph.D. courses for this quarter, and struggling hard with projects which are due now. In fact, the whole day yesterday was spent trying to finalize a draft to the 'paper from hell' wherein I still have some touch up to do today, and the conclusion. Yesterday was devoted solely to this paper, and the theories therein.
I am not 16 anymore, in fact my 16th birthday was kind of sucky anyway, so let's not go there. The point is, I wasn't all jittery excited about my birthday. In fact, my Mom was showing me what she would like for her birthday long before I even thought about mine. This is highly unusual for me, because I am usually really upbeat and somewhat excited about my birthday, depending on if I am dating at the time or not and the financial climate. This year I am not dating, and the financial climate calls for more hurricanes, tornadoes, and droughts.
I finally told Mom a couple of things I would like, one being some horses of the Pretty Pony collection which I have wanted for some time to add to my small but pretty collection, and the other was a book on the life of Lana Turner. I am not sure why Lana Turner seems so important I should read a book about her life, but I remember asking for the TCM book on her last year. So, I asked for the book again this year, thinking there should be a used one on Amazon by now.
Mom received a couple of things in the mail, and was acting all secretive about them, so I knew she was excited and they were for my birthday. The night before, she wrapped a box and left it out where I usually place the computer for her in the morning. I don't know if she wanted me to open it early or not, as I had a particularly challenging day-before-my-birthday. I didn't. I even put a note on the computer the morning of, and told her I didn't want to open the present until we were both awake and could enjoy it together.
When I got up later, I did open with her, and it held items which were cool. There was a book on Lana Turner, but it was an autobiography, and Mom felt this would be better, as autobiographies usually are better than tidbits others gather and then write about an important person. I know I plan to have an autobiography of myself completed at bookstores everywhere! The other item was a mistake: it was supposed to be a movie on the life of Lana but was instead about Bette Davis. No offense Ms. Davis, but I never really dug you in the movies, so I wasn't interested in the DVD. Mom is sending it back, as she ordered one on Lana, so the DVD company must have made a...boo boo! I am looking forward to reading the book on my 3 week break, should I actually get one.
The other kookies I received yesterday were numerous and inspiring to me. I feel so cut off from the world anymore, as my Lupus and fibro mostly have become harder and harder to deal with each day. The knees and ankle are really beginning to limit most everything I do. A day for me is ending up with me mostly in my room, reading or writing on school work, taking very short walks with the dog, and playing or petting the animals in my room. I feel I have become home bound definitely, and almost bed bound. Thus, I haven't been getting out to visit with people, and I even had one friend who lives here locally who has kind of signed off for a while, I hope just for a while. I am sure she is tired of even knowing about my issues, even if I don't say anything, and with her busy life, I am very easy to put off to the side.
I have just made a new friend through the Capella Disability group, and he is great! He is very supportive, truthful, and a survivor. When he told me last night what he had gone through to bring him to where he is now, I felt awful for even complaining or mentioning any of my aches or pains. He is very strong. This man, without ever having met me, made my day so wonderful through the use of technology, and he actually started the night before my birthday.
He sent me numerous, but not too many, ecards, each with a very personal message, some funny and some a little more serious about how he perceives me. Each and every one of them was wonderful and welcomed. He also chatted with me throughout the day, keeping my spirits up, as he knew I was spending this celebratory day doing the draft of my paper. He truly made my day, and kept my spirits up so I could do what needed to be done. I worked until close to 10:00 p.m. on the paper, and bless his heart, he was up almost that long. He usually doesn't stay awake that long as it is hard on him, but I have the feeling he did it for me. What a wonderful person to have in my life.
Later in the day, I took a break and checked my other email account. There were tons of notifications of postings to my Face Book wall. I went to my Face Book wall, and found many people, from old high school buddies, to friends with whom I have chatted on Face Book, but never met, had sent me wishes for my birthday. One may say it is no big deal, all they have to do is see in the corner it is my birthday, and then drop a one liner saying happy birthday, but it is a big deal to one who cannot leave the house very often and does not talk on the phone due to the fear of using up valuable minutes.
At the end of the day, I must have had over 30 wishes for my birthday. I made sure I thanked each one separately, and they all deserved a hug.
It was as if I had received a great big kookie bouquet from one of those fancy stores, but without the calories. Wonderful indeed. Thanks again to all who made my birthday calm, peaceful, and gave me a sense of not being all alone in this small room, but part of the larger world.
