Educational Benefits

 

            It is funny how you can go through life, doing what you do, and never realize what effect, if any, you are having on others. Here is my story for today, I know I haven’t written in some time, but this is worth the wait.

            Years ago I worked with in a law office which included just one other paralegal and one attorney.  I remember having long conversations about my schooling through Capella, and how I was working away at a Master’s degree.  The other paralegal expressed some interest, and then wanted to know what I knew about a particular school.  I asked around, gave her the information I gleaned, and that was kind of it.  She did enroll in this school, but we lost touch of each other, and I didn’t know she had graduated until months after she had walked. 

            Now we are back in contact with each other, and she is in law school!  I always knew she was one smart cookie, and I told her so often.  I also have used her life and the way she didn’t succumb to what would have been expected of her, but overcame a lot of obstacles to become the person she was then.  So, it was no surprise to me to learn she was in law school.  She is going to be great as an attorney: smart with a heart! 

            The thing she told me today which really made my day, week, month, is that she decided to go back to school and take on that challenge because of me.  She said I had inspired her to go further in her life.  Now I am real proud of her, and this has nothing to do with me, but she had a baby and is now raising this child on her own, as well as continuing her education.  Wham! Bang!  Once she got started, there is no stopping her. 

            I can say I am glad I had something to do with her going back to school, but I think the kudos go to her as she took the challenge seriously.  She not only got her Bachelor’s, but studied for the LSATs (which are not easy), and is now working on her law degree.  She is an awesome person, and an inspiration to all who know her. 

Stupid

I just have to share today a poem which I read last night.  I did NOT write it, in fact, it was written by Debora Geary.  She writes romance novels and novels about a fictional community of witches.  It is the community of witches which I follow.  The book from which the following poem is offered in Witches Under Way, from her WitchLight Trilogy (Copyright 2012 Debora Geary, Fireweed Publishing, Kindle Edition).

The main reason I feel the need to place it here in Karma Kookies, is because many people may not read the same books I do, thus missing this little treasure.  The personal reason I am placing on my Karma Kookies is because, like everyone in the fictional audience who heard this poem recited live, I too held my breath when it was done, progressing through my life and the way I thought. 

So, even if you are not a poetry reader, give this one a shot.  It is easy, not deep and dreary, not hard to understand, and it will perhaps offer you a bit of insight as it has me.

Stupid (by Lizard Monroe aka Debora Geary)

            Sometimes it doesn’t even start out as a word,

just slime that eases in

and grows roots and has no name,

covering the parts of your insides

that know how to breathe.

            And then one day it turns real,

an agent of mean

aiming to bruise your soul or someone else’s.

            It doesn’t matter.

            Stupid sticks to everything,

even if it wasn’t thrown at you.

            You do battle with stupid.

            You tell people they’re wrong

and you try to be smart

and one day you even try to put stupid in a bag with some rocks

and one of those crazy fisherman knots that never come undone

and hope it drowns.

            But stupid floats back up

and it’s cute kittens

and Santa Clause

and grandmothers who live forever that end up in the bag instead.

            Stupid is a survivor.

            Eventually, you stop fighting

and grant squatting rights in your soul.

            If you’re lucky, one day, for reasons unknown,

good people start shoveling other words into your head

and stupid gets quieter for a while,

maybe even takes a long vacation to a nice island with no Internet.

            But it always comes back.

            I’ve learned that you can’t fight stupid,

or drown it

or bury it

or send it on a long trip without a map.

            You can’t unlearn it

or unteach it

or eviscerate it from the memory of the world.

            But you can remember this.

            Stupid isn’t a name.  It’s just a word. 

I do hope that at least one person who reads this, besides me of course, finds something personal in this poem for them. 

If you liked this poem, or want to see what kind of books bring light into my life, check out www.deborageary.com.  Yes, the books are about witches, but not the Shakespearian kind, and what I glean more from the books is the community of people, not just the witches.  I believe the communities she describes in Ms. Geary describes in her books are very possible, and they are all not peaches and cream, but real everyday life.  Ms. Geary’s books may be found on Amazon.com as well, and they are in Kindle format for a very reasonable price for such joy.

A Bumble Bee’s karma kookie

The other day while swimming, I was watching the little bit of flotsam on the pool water.  There was a small bumble bee which was kicking for dear life. 

I gently touched the little bee with my finger coming from underneath him, and he immediately took to flight.

He buzzed around my head and my swimming gear for a couple of seconds, then he was off again.

As I lay on the lounger at the pool a few minutes later, I believe, the same bee landed on my knee. 

He turned to look at me, and I felt he was saying ‘thank you’ for helping him from drowning on a fine summer day.

Picking a family...

Wow!  It has been some time since I have written on karma kookies.  The reasons are not clear as to why I haven’t written, it has just been challenging to find good things to write about.  I refuse to cloud anyone else’s life with my further struggles, thus I have not written in some time. 

I have to say I have changed an old quote and standard of what is believed: You can’t pick your family, but you can pick your friends.  Well, I have decided I am picking my family as well. 

I have adopted a woman who has been in my life for almost 20 years.  When we first met she thought I would not be able to pronounce her name correctly so she gave me a nick-name then and there.  I am now the only person who calls her by this name. 

Over time this woman has been there when I have needed her, even in emergencies.  She has listened or read about all my dates and men problems, which for her required a ‘score card’ to keep up with all my discussions. 

Now in this time when I feel I am at my worst: unemployed; waiting for a disability appeal decision; living with my Mom; and basically not at my best at all.  This woman is there for me.  In fact, she was a little surprised of my situation when I told her, and she wanted to help as much as she could. She now takes me out at least once a month to do my grocery shopping and then we have a bite to eat.  We also talk quite a bit by texting, which has been a life line for me some days.  Just to know someone out there cares about me. 

This woman is extremely busy, so anyone who says they are too busy for a friend is just not making the time and this woman is a pure example of that theory.  She has two children who are very active in school and extracurricular activities.  She also is starting her own mediation business; has some private issues which are very stressful and life changing to her family; and now she has had to move her family, including parents from L.A., to a new house.  She is also married and has family activities which she attends for her husband’s work.  She is very busy, but finds time for me, whether it is a text (which I just received from her while writing this) or by taking me out to get groceries and/or to just hang like we used and talk.

I have also adopted a brother, more like a big brother, so I call him my big bro’.  He has been in my life for years, not even sure how long.  At first we didn’t really talk to one another, he was a different man, but after his divorce, he became more humble and was around more in Las Vegas.  I have helped him with some legal work, but he has also served me as a sounding board and a buoy when I felt too challenged to continue in my struggles.  He doesn’t live around Las Vegas anymore, and I have seen him in about 2 years, maybe longer.  He too is very busy running a ranch for his father, doing auctions various nights of the week, and with his family of three girls and his wife. 

I have an elderly man, about the same age as my Mom, who has adopted me as his daughter.  After we talked quite a bit through FaceBook and then in private emails, he said I was the daughter he had always wanted.  At one time he was trying to figure out a way I could come and live with him, his wife, and his son, but there was no feasible way to do this, especially with my animals in tow.  When I was attending school, and he had the means, he helped me with attending one of the colloquiums and with getting a new computer when I blew my laptop.  He has always been there for me to discuss things with and give me his take on the situation.  His illnesses keep him from getting out too much, plus he is located kind of on the outskirts of a town from what I gather.  I have never met him, but am proud to call him my pop.  He tells me of his life, and not just the good parts, but the times he was challenged and made the wrong decisions, and how his decisions have caused him great pain in latter life.  I don’t ask anything from him, and he doesn’t ask anything from me, we are just happy in our family relationship. 

Thus, in my world, I can pick my friends and my family.  I have surrounded myself with people I know care about me and want what is best for me.  They do not push what they think is best for me, but rather listen to me and respect where I am at and what I am saying. They are worth more karma kookies than the average good deed.

My Guys Are Home!!!

Hurray!

I just found out the two men I have been worried about who are enlisted and overseas are on U.S. soil. 

One man was reddening himself for retirement from the Army when he was suddenly called to Afghanistan.  He left his wife and children, and had to take a break on his doctoral work.  I received an email from him the other day, responding to some jokes I sent him, and he reported he was moving his family to another station just a few miles from his home.

Now he can get back to his family and perhaps finish his doctorate as well.  He wanted to have a Ph.D. by the time he retired from the service so he could teach.  He is an awesome father and a great person.  Glad he is back!

The other fellow is a guy I dated a couple of times till we figured out we were better friends.  I moved off to do my thing, and then found out he was shipped off to Iraq.  What made it really precarious was he had just found out the woman who he had kind of liked at one place he was working had liked him as well, they just never told each other at the time.  When they met up again, they told each other of their past attraction to each other, it was done before it was started: wedding bells were almost ringing.  They made sure they got married before he was shipped out.  So, I was really hopping he would come back, safe and sound, to his new wife. 

By the time my travels brought me back to Las Vegas, I had no idea how to find out when and if my friend made it home.  I happened to have an issue come up just recently which I thought he might be interested in.  I checked on LinkedIn just out of curiosity, and to my surprise my friend’s profile showed him not only back on U.S. soil but clear across the country.  So, I am sure he has started his new life with his new wife and I hope he stays here and is able to do all the things he dreamt of before he left.  He is a very talented man with many dreams.

So, what a day for karma kookies~two in one day!

karma kookies is...

A karma kookie is having people who love you and will give you the shirt off their back.  Many who you have never met, but call you friend or family.

Didn't bake enough kookies this year

I sat here today after walking Wizard and wondered why I wasn’t getting any x-mas gifts this year. 

We were just doing our normal afternoon walk when one of the neighbors which loves Wizard, thinks he is the cutest thing, offered him a whole container of cooked chicken.  Well, he looked at me as if to say, “You turn this down, and I will eat your toes slowly tonight!”  I thanked her for the chicken and took it home.  He then demanded, and yes Bichons can be very demanding underneath all that fluff, to have a piece or two of this wonderful smelling meat in the container.  So, I obligingly gave him two pieces.

The chicken event was over, and all was at peace again.  A knock came at the door from another neighbor who can’t get enough of Wizard.  She brought down two packages: one just for Wizard; and the other for my Mom and me to share.  Well, I can tell you I am just all a flutter wondering what she gave my Mom and I. :(  I decided, being the good mother I am, Wizard didn’t need another present today.  Having an additional present, which more than likely would be something to eat, would just spoil him worse than he is now, which is hard to imagine. Under the little tree it went to save for x-mas. 

Mom has had presents come from people from her church, which now since she is a senior, she is okay.  Before, when she was a single mother raising two children, she was disregarded regularly and had to really beg at times to get help, especially if it meant men coming to her house to help her or do their home teaching.  She was seen as this single woman, divorcé, and possibly a pariah looking for men.  But, like I said, now she is a senior and okay!  It’s okay, she is a senior woman.  It’s all good! 

I know I have my presents for Mom as well.  So, I know she is getting stuff she wanted from me on x-mas. 

I received one present from my friend here in ‘Vegas.  It is lovely, and I will always treasure it. 

What I am realizing here is I am a bit saddened this year as I am not giving a lot (don’t have a lot to give) and am not getting a lot (as those I know and love don’t have a lot to give either).  I guess I am feeling the “Holiday Blues” and not the kind B.B. King sings either. 

Last year I had my CASA family and my two CASA girls, so there was a lot of x-mas activity and giving going on.  I was taking one of the girls to different places to shop for her x-mas trip to meet her Great Aunt, and to other x-mas events.  She had a x-mas festival my supervisor and I attended which was very nice.  Her sister had a x-mas party in the place she was, and I was able to give her presents as well.  I had the girls get together and sing x-mas carols before the older one went on her trip. 

I was also able to arrange some x-mas giving for my CASA family and it was a real happy time as they were all together.  At the party where I took my older CASA girl, there were so many kids and so much happiness of all the children it was just magical.  This year I have not been physically able to be an active CASA or be involved in the CASA events. 

Throughout the years I have also not been one to keep up with giving out cards, as my Mom does so faithfully.  Many of the people which move away from me, I don’t really want to keep communication with anyway.  So, I do have friends though now which are spread all over the place: from Georgia, Texas, Michigan, Alaska, Afghanistan, and even India; only one friend here, who has her own very full life.  My sister does not live her, nor does her son.  So our family get together is made up of Mom, me, and all the other creatures of the house.

I learned from my friend here in ‘Vegas we must establish boundaries of what is healthy for us: some people are just not good for us; if we don’t have to associate with them, then we should choose to have them in our lives.  They can and will damage our energy and our life choices and out comes.  

I ponder now as x-mas nears; oh it is so close, have I cut off nose to spite my face?  Seriously, the people I don’t talk to who have moved away are people in which we have both made a conscious choice not to talk with the other, for whatever reason.  I dated a lot of guys here, but never stayed in contact with them. Am I sitting here in this blue funk because of closing myself off to too many people, or because someone changed the light bulb on me?

Do I not have any kookies coming my way because I haven’t been baking and sending kookies out?